Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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