New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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