Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
