In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
