i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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