I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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