I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize