All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
