Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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