this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
