this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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