I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
