Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
