dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
