Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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