I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
