Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
