i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
