I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
are you so shy because you have an std?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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