bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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