I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
