you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
