I cockslap morals
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize