I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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