I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
