your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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