I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize