they need to just BURY HIM!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
did you just send me my own nude
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
