Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
