If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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