yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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