I wannas sexs uuuuu
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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