She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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