Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize