hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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