Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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