I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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