i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize