Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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