Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Randomize
