He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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