absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
