You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize