Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
