i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
