Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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