Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Its about making memories worth repressing
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
