I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
