I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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