that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
