How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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