Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize