in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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