somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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