bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize