Sry I called you an 8
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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