the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
