He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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