i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
