the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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