you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
