it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
