Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
