No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
