At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
