okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
