i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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