good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you win again, gameday.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
