At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
