Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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