So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
