I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
