I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
