I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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