I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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